Priceless.

Don't your skanks need to be walked?

;)

Have a good time with your new life plan. Hopefully you won't end up deserted when she realizes what a fucked up asshole you are.

:D

A week until I am with my lovelies.

Sleep is Amazing

Ah sleep is amazing. I woke up at 9:30 a.m. rested enough to start the day. I even ate breakfast; not much because my lip is still hurting from the piercing but I do have more energy from it. I can’t wait until I’m at my own place again, I can start drinking Ensure’s like I used to. It really helps with the energy level. After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, right? And half the time I forget to eat and drink. My entire routine has stopped since being at my parents. At least Dexter is on a good routine but I’m worried how the move is going to affect Dexter.

Off to puppy class for us! Hopefully Oakley, Shadow and Buster will show up today; last week we had a private lesson because everyone bailed.

Hehehe

And I thought I had imperfections. I'm happily laughing to myself. Good job on picking that one; you missed out. :p

Poor Dex

I took a quick 20 minute cat nap today. I must admit, I woke up completely ready to go. I scored 100% on my biology unit quiz for my Natural Science class.

I'm not sleeping much. Dexter is going through a lot of pain with his adult teeth coming in. Last night he kept whimpering and when it would get really bad he would bark to get my attention. He is being much more of a suck than he normally is (which is shocking because he is already a big enough suck) but I guess I'd want to be babied if I were in pain so I don't blame him. I even gave in and started mixing in canned food with his dry food; all thanks to my Mom. But Dex wasn't eating because the kibble was hurting him too much to chew. I'm wondering if I can give him a bit of an Asprin to help his pain. I'm going to do a bit of research.

Busy Girl

So school is keeping me busy. I'm determined. It's just stressful.

Dexter's puppy classes are almost over. Two more Sunday's left!

My lip piercing is healing nicely but I've loaded myself up on Motrin.

Packing has commenced. Almost a week left to Phoenix.

I'm going to miss everyone back home.

I'm Learning

I’ve tried turning my emotions off. I tried to push them away, him away, her away, and it all away. But there is something there drawing me back. My heart is in it, my mind isn’t. It will all explode into a rush of feelings and I’ll be there taking it all in. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. I thought he was it. But after it was finished I realized that I never even loved him; I loved the idea of him. I went with it because I was foolish and didn’t know better. Giving up a huge part of me was difficult, but I believe in fate and this has to be meaningful. I’m sometimes blinded by overwhelming thought but I am not worthless. I can’t say if this dynamic will work. I can’t say this dynamic will even be good enough for me. Not many people have ever tuned into the real me. I’m fairly adaptable but in being so I close the important valves. I shut myself out because I feel it necessary to adapt. My problem is not being able to predict the inevitable but that is an unrealistic expectation. I’ve been seriously hurt but I’m making a major comeback. I am in love again. And although these days are hard, and my mind is confused, I know that everything will be fine and I am okay.

I Hate Stress

The stress is eating me alive – quite literally. I’ve almost completely stopped sleeping normally (for me). It’s the bare minimum needed to keep functioning really. My body is running on caffeine throughout the day. I’ve become sick quite frequently. I’m eating far less than what I should be. And because of how tired I am, my energy level is diminishing.

The stress of school is now more apparent. I didn’t realize this until tonight. It is September 24th and I have yet to do anything of importance for most of my classes. I’m falling so far behind that catching up now is going to be difficult. My end date is October 31st. And with a move coming up, I am debating whether postponing my move will be beneficial or not. The last thing I need is the distraction of moving. At least here I have my family helping me out with my responsibilities for Dex. It is time to buckle down. But first I desperately need sleep. If only I could take a sleep aid of some sort... but because of Dexter I’m not getting the amount of sleep I really need. Having insomnia is difficult on its own; my best sleep is in the morning but Dexter is an early bird so I technically can’t fall asleep until 3 or 4 a.m. and then Dexter is roaring to go at 7:00 a.m.

Ahh.

Niagara and Toronto with James

James left. His trip was fun. We spent an evening exploring Niagara Falls. And we spent the weekend in Toronto at the Crown Plaza Hotel in Don Valley. I took James to my favourite brunch place, Bonjour Brioche on Saturday and it was a romantic meal. We got to see Casa Loma, which being a Torontonian I had still never done. We also went up the CN Tower and managed to have a lovely dinner overlooking the beautiful city. We had planned to attend a party but the doors closed before we were able to get there so we drank in the hotel lobby. It was quite the party in the lobby; a bunch of Americans, two silly Quebec boys and a few English men. We had a music fest once we all were plastered that took us until 1 in the morning; I attempted to text Lindsay but couldn’t manage to type any correct words. And then after, up in the hotel room... well, you can only imagine what took place. Teehee. Dexter’s puppy class was silly. Nobody showed up except us so we rushed in from Toronto bright and early (with the Gardiner expressway closed might I add grrr) for a private lesson. Dexter looked sad that his pals didn’t show but we practiced sit before greetings. And then James met the parents (they ADORE him thankfully since my ex they only tolerated because I told them I didn’t want to hear their opinions). And unfortunately he had to fly back to Phoenix yesterday.

I do have photos. I will upload some later.

James' Arrival

James is here. I met him in Buffalo this morning. I caught the Coach Canada bus this morning at 7:55 a.m. His flight arrived at 11:20 a.m. We're both extremely tired from not sleeping last night. The dogs kept me up all night wanting to play, leaving me with just under two and a half hours of sleep. But I was still able to get my final quiz done tonight for my Intro to Child Development class.

Tomorrow will be plenty of homework and then an evening in Niagara Falls.

It sucks that I'm feeling ill.

Eek!!

I now declare that I have the world's sweetest boyfriend.

James couldn't fly out from Phoenix as planned yesterday so instead he sent me flowers this afternoon. It definitely doesn't make up for not seeing him, but it makes me fall even more in love with him.

Thank you for the flowers, love. I appreciate it.

Dexter's Tooth

Dexter lost his first baby tooth today. It was one of his bottom front teeth. :)

Four Months Old!

Today, Dexter turns four months old! And although I have only had him for two months, he is already a huge part of my life. I can't even describe my love for this little pup. Dexter is not just a dog, he is my family and although we've known each other for such a short period of time, he has already completed me. And for that I am ever so grateful.

Here are a few photos from our celebration:

I love swimming...

I'm missing my place in Phoenix... this is why... ;)

God, I am such a Canadian...

Despite cleaning and the pouring rain, I even managed to grab Tim Hortons.

Day of Cleaning

My parents have left for Jamaica. I’m totally jealous. I’ve always wanted to go to Jamaica. But I am glad they are going; I hope they have a blast. Perhaps one day I will get there.

I am house and pet sitting at my parents. They get back on the 19th and then soon after my mom leaves for Peterborough so I am back house and pet sitting for them again.

I’ve been cleaning since noon. For such a small place it seems to be a lot of work. It’s dragging on now. I am quite proud of myself though. I’ve steam cleaned the entire living room including the couches. I have been doing laundry nonstop. I’ve vacuumed all of the carpets and steam washed the floors. I washed down a few walls, kitchen cabinets, counters, tables, etc. I am almost at the point where it is more than to my liking. I’m not a clean freak or anything but I hate dirt. I also hate messes, but I am more content living with a mess than with dirt. I told my parents that I would clean their house for them once they were gone so I think they purposely left it a disaster for me. Teehee.

James is coming over on Sunday. He is flying in from Phoenix to spend a week with me. It is very sweet of him to do. He insisted he couldn’t be apart from me for a month. I happen to agree. It is just a shame Lindsay couldn’t come too. But this is James’ first time in Canada. Well technically second but the first time doesn’t count because he didn’t really see anything. I plan to ravish him in Toronto, explore Niagara Falls and unfortunately for the most part, hang out at my parents place. We were on the phone together looking up Toronto hotels online when he said, “you’re in Atlantic Canada, right?” I seriously almost peed myself laughing. He has a lot to learn about Canadian geography. Remember those Great Lakes, sweetheart. ;)

Christopher was suppose to come and visit me sometime during my parents vacation but despite my efforts of communication, he has disappeared off the face of the earth. Oh well, his loss. I'm actually about ready to call that friendship quits altogether; it is impossible to be friends with someone who doesn't communicate. I just miss Kelevra more than I could say.

But thankfully Dexter is doing much better. His new food is causing a bit of diarrhea but other than that he is keeping it down. He is getting so big! I weighed him a few days ago and he is 6lbs. And to think, I got him two months ago and he was only 3lbs.

So today is cleaning. Tomorrow should be homework. And Sunday is puppy school and James. Fun, fun.

Remembering 9/11

It was today, seven years ago, that the world stopped to watch in terror.

Today, and always, let's remember...



And let us also remember the lives being lost daily in Afghanistan and Iraq.


Image taken from National Post

Election Coverage

With the upcoming federal election, Prime Minister Stephen Harper is pledging to have the Canadian military vacate Afghanistan in 2011. But is he using it as a poll grabber? The conservatives flood the TV screen and mailbox with fancy Ad campaigns, full of hope and promise but Canadians need to show a bit of skepticism this time around. As Harper took office, Canada joined the United States in combat in Afghanistan. Since 2002, 97 Canadian soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan. Is pulling our troops out in 2011 going to be good enough? If the end date is December 2011, how many more Canadian's will have to sacrifice their lives and for what? With the upcoming U.S elections, is our military at risk for escalating our commitment in Afghanistan? With Harper's 2011 deadline, he is attempting to push the Afghanistan issue out of this years election.

During the last election, New Democratic Party leader Jack Layton requested the withdrawal of Canadian troops from Afghanistan to begin immediately. And to begin pursuing peace negotiations with the Taliban insurgents. He argued that the mission lacked clear objectives and measures of success, and that the counter-insurgency operation was undermining reconstruction in Afghanistan.

Let`s stand up for that now.

Let`s stand up for a better Canada.







I vote NDP.

Dexter's Food

Dexter has been throwing his food up lately. It’s beginning to concern me. I knew the chunks of food were too large so I broke it up into pieces but it is still not working. I’ve decided to change his food once again so he is now off the Authority Harvest Baked from PetsMart and on Science Diet Nature’s Best. It’s pretty expensive food at $18.99 per 4.5lbs but he deserves only the best!

Hopefully this will help my little guy from vomiting.

Canada... again.

I am back in Canada. It is dark and dreary compared to Phoenix; at least right now. I’m freezing, missing the bright sun, the warm weather, the wondrous swimming pool in James’ backyard.

I hate how things turned out there. The stress got the best of me. I turned sour. I didn’t mean it. My last night was a mess. But I discovered what I need to get help with. Now the sorting begins, the healing begins; the frustration can be put to rest. I expect it will take awhile but I am optimistic about it.

Besides becoming even more attached to James, I met a beautiful girl named Lindsay. I couldn’t ask for more. These intense emotions are swirling circles inside of my head. The more I think about her, the more I want to surround myself around her. Who knows what will come of it but I’m hoping for the best.

So anyway, I am in Canada. Wishing I didn’t have Dexter’s puppy classes to hold me here. Wishing I could book a flight back to Arizona tomorrow and get the fuck away from here once and for all. God damn finances.

Failure

I didn't fail you; I failed myself.

Bye Phoenix

It’s been quite the drama lately. I ended up flying out to Phoenix early Saturday morning, after absolutely no sleep, a rush pack job, and with a tired Dexter. My parents and I got into this massive argument that pushed me away. While I was on the plane, I debated ever going back, but of course knowing myself, I have to deal with the stress or it overcomes my life. So, I am heading back to Canada on Saturday, after a week of lounging in the sun.

It’s hot here in Phoenix but not nearly as hot as it was my last trip. Dexter is handling it much better as well. He still doesn’t enjoy going outside but he will go for his quick potty walk without whining. I even managed to get him into the pool. He still isn’t sure about this swimming business but he has one damn good doggy paddle. I bought him a cheap kickboard from Walmart to float him around on. He’s gotten to the point of jumping off the kickboard and swimming to the side of the pool; he’s still too small to get himself out though.

I’m extremely stressed. The fight between my parents and I has been weighing on me. We’ve since talked on the phone but something still feels off about it. I don’t like ending things on a bad note. And the financial pressures are becoming clearer; with these flights back and forth to Phoenix I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to afford my own place again. I debated staying in Phoenix, dealing with the stress here, trying to salvage my semester at school, etc but what draws me back to Canada (and yes I know this is silly) is Dexter’s puppy classes. I love my trainer there... and it is silly because Petsmart exists here and so does puppy school. But for one, I can’t afford to pay for classes again, and two, we’ve already started back in Canada. I hate that I ended up missing his class last week. It’s why I deliberately wanted to leave Saturday so I can make it back for his class Sunday.

If I could afford it, I’d have a day at the spa, a nice massage, mud bath, facial, the works... And it would be incredible to watch the stress pour off me.

And what breaks my heart is not going back to journalism school. It has me incredibly down. If only I didn't...