Christopher is in the air coming home right now!

My love is on his way home!!! FINALLY!

Eeek. I am so excited. It has been three weeks since I have seen Christopher. I can’t wait until he walks out and I can hug him and kiss him and love him and never let go.

Can you tell I am excited?

His plane has departed, he is in the sky… and I am eagerly waiting 8:30… (Technically by the time he gets his bags and the puppy, it’ll be after 9:00ish) but oh my goodness, finally.

I hope he never has to go away that long again… at least not without me ;)

Not Today...

Nope, not today... figures.

Christopher insists he will be home tomorrow. I don't think I'll believe it until I actually see him.

29 hours and counting...

Christopher Has The Results!

RESULTS ARE IN!!!!!

Oh my gosh, awesome news!!!

Kelevra is feeling better, the results came back fine.

What we don’t know is if Christopher can make his flight today or not… worst case scenario is that he catches tomorrow’s flight. I’m hoping he comes home today…

Please, please, please.

Ugh, Does It Get Any Better?

Okay I am having the worst day possible and it isn’t even 11:00 a.m. yet. I heard from Christopher at 9:00 a.m. saying he doesn’t know what is happening, not to text him until after 2:00 p.m. and then as I left for school, I stopped at Tim Hortons to get a cappuccino to cheer up, and as I was walking back to the bus stop, a bus sped by me and sprayed me, completely covering me with slush and sludge. So, I got home to change, but class starts in 10 minutes, so there is no way I am making it since it takes about an hour to get there. There is no point in showing up late either since class only goes until 12:30 p.m. showing up for half an hour sort of defeats the purpose… thankfully I can download Adobe In Design and try to catch up on my own since my prof emailed me the assignment sheet last night.

I try to stay positive but with events like these, it’s incredibly hard.

I’ll update more later.

Maybe No Christopher Today Either :(

I just heard from Christopher. The vet didn’t get the results of the stool analysis in yesterday and hopes it will be in this morning. I can’t believe it. It has already been three weeks with him gone. I’m having a meltdown. I can’t keep going on like this… hoping and praying he will finally be able to come home. He could have driven home faster than this. I have to leave for class soon but I can’t stop crying. I feel like just laying here and not doing anything.

This is seriously killing my mood.

If the results come in early enough, he could still catch the flight. His flight leaves LAX at 1:15pm… that gives just under six hours to get the results, pick them up, drive to the airport and check in before check in closes.

I’m praying.

Doing Homework

I’ve been super productive tonight!

I had Starbucks on my way home from class and then got pretty much straight to work.

I finished my weekly online quiz (got 80%) for my Political Geography class and participated in the discussion.

I finished my Communications English journal for next Monday.

I finished the first draft (minus the interviews that I procrastinated on and didn’t conduct) of my magazine article for tomorrow.

I wanted to begin my Communications English essay but I’m tired and want to watch The Sopranos instead. It shouldn’t take too long to complete once I’ve started, it is only suppose to be 750 words. Depending how long I am at school tomorrow, I may try to get part of it done before heading to Pearson; I want to do a bit of laundry and tidy the house up as well.

I also have to write an essay for my Political Geography class but I haven’t looked at it yet. It has something to do with the Cold War.

I still haven’t heard from Christopher. He had to pick up the results from the vet today. If they come back clean, he is coming home tomorrow. I’m praying… I just want my boys home.

I'm not behind - yet...

I’m procrastinating, soon to be falling behind, and feeling the pressure. The stress is beginning to drag me down. Stress is my worst enemy; it grabs me and pulls me below the current until I can no longer breathe. It’s my time management skills, and perhaps lack of energy and enthusiasm to complete my assigned work.

This semester is beginning to get the best of me. There is not one class that I am in this semester that I enjoy. I think I have mentioned briefly before that my semester is comprised of mostly broadcast classes. Although I am a huge fan of production, I am not a huge fan of broadcast journalism at a college level. I believe I would make a decent backpack journalist, but I would rather focus on writing, and photography.

So, I have a few major assignments due very soon that I have yet to begin. And I am beginning to think I need a bit of inspiration or I may never succeed in this program. Christopher is definitely an inspiration, but not necessarily in journalism, he is my inspiration to advance in my studies in general, at a university level. He is also my inspiration to pursue photography, and to begin writing my memoir that I have put on the backburner for far too long. But I worry about this semester. He tends to kick my ass into gear, and trust me, it is well warranted and more than appreciated, but him being gone for the past three weeks has left me on my own.

How do I go from zero to 100 in a matter of days? I thought getting out of the city, taking some “me” time, doing things that I love to do would help, and it probably would (this is usually my method of reenergizing), but Christopher is pretty adamant about me sticking this through until reading week, conveniently enough that it is in a few weeks. So I need to come up with a solid plan to get me focused enough to complete all of the work that is due between now and reading week.

Hopefully Christopher will be home tomorrow as planned and he can help… my missing him is getting in the way of my studies as well. Depression never helps anything.

I'm Aware I'm Rambling...

I’m very tired. I haven’t slept well lately. For the past week or so my sleeps have varied from semi-consciousness to just tossing and turning. I’ve become accustomed to sleeping next to someone that now it has become very difficult to be in bed alone. My mind doesn’t seem to settle down either which doesn’t help. My insomnia was under control for a little while, maybe I am just missing Christopher too much. He’ll be back soon… just a few more days.

I took sleeping medication last night. Perhaps I took too much. I was just in such an emotionally overwhelming state that I needed something to escape from it for awhile. I downed a bit of Nyquil and took a Nytol that kept me asleep until 3:00 p.m. today. I woke up, threw on some clothes that were draped over my chair and wondered down to the Starbucks at Runnymede Station. The sleep was nice. Medicated sleep isn’t the greatest sleep, but it is much better than not sleeping at all. Depression is awful. I know it is because Christopher is gone. Sighs.

Today was beautiful though. It was fairly warm so I sat outside drinking my Venti 1% no whip no foam hot chocolate from Starbucks watching flurries. The weather has been strange. It was unusually beautiful a couple weeks ago, got incredibly cold, then warmed up and snowed, then cooled off again, and now it’s beautiful. Being alone these past couple of weeks has really helped me see things like I have never seen them before.

I’m rambling. I apologize. I’ve been having these intense emotional states for some time now. It just feels like everything is changing. Change is good… If you go with the flow, everything gets easier...

I want Christopher to come home…

I need to run away

I’m finding it very difficult to settle down. As such a free spirited girl, it is almost impossible to stay in one place. I’ve been on the go my entire life. I was raised traveling, not very far because we never had the money, but my dad and I constantly took road trips for his work. And with that, I’ve been brought up to explore, travel, follow the wind and be free.

Most people don’t understand my personality. Over the years my spontaneity has actually lost friendships. The closest people to me know that I am free, wild, spontaneous and it is rather difficult to tame me.

Last year was a terrible time for me. I became stuck in a moment because of my illness. My illness got the best of me, allowed me to crumble, and I got lost within it. I didn’t know where to turn, where to go or what to do. So, as I fell apart, I hit rock bottom in a jail cell. Ended up being trapped in a city that I felt I couldn’t leave because of court and hated every instant of it.

Don’t get me wrong, Toronto is a fantastic city, and if I was going to be trapped anywhere, I’d want it to be here, but overall, I think it was just knowing that I couldn’t leave that got to me. Almost as if someone was standing over me, overpowering me, telling me I couldn’t leave, so I had to push it, test those limits and get out. But I couldn’t escape. So I became trapped and lost in my own world.

Now, court has been over for a little under a week, and I am finally free. I haven't actually celebrated yet, so that is still in store. I can finally do everything that I have always wanted to do. I have so many plans.

Hopefully school will go by quickly. Not sure what is going to happen this summer but I am hoping to get out of here for awhile…

No LA For Me Today

Christopher decided it wasn't worth me going to LA to see him. I guess he is right, it just upsets me. I hate being a girl, you get all emotional over stupid things. My hormones have seemed sort of out of whack recently as well which isn't helping.

I just miss him and I hate that he is stuck in LA for the next couple of days. He is scheduled on the Tuesday flight but I asked him to attempt to make today's flight, all West Jet can say is no, right? I mean, he has a vet note saying Kelevra is healthy, he just doesn't have the results of the stool analysis. He said he wanted to try to get on the flight so I'm hoping he'll do his best... after all, this is the guy who sweet talked his way onto the upper deck of a 747 for a transpacific flight. He's great at getting his own way.

Anyway, in an effort to keep busy to avoid missing Christopher even more, I was supposed to go snowshoeing today with Jennifer in the Humber Arboretum but it looks like that may actually be canceled due to the lack of snow. I'm sad because I've never been and I thought it would be fun. Maybe one day. ;)

Is LA Wishful Thinking For Me?

This may sound sappy but I’m missing Christopher so incredibly much that I am trying to convince him to allow me to fly to Los Angeles tomorrow to spend time with him and see the puppy.

I’m romantic. My love for him makes me want to fly half way across the continent just so I can touch him, see him, and spend time with him. I wouldn’t do that for just anybody. It’s sort of pricey but he is worth every cent.

Without him I feel lost, especially with him gone this long. I know it is technically four more days until he will be back but I miss him so much.

He is thinking about it. I hate that he has to think about it but I guess I understand his point as well. Why spend money when I don’t have to? Why miss class when I don’t have to?

The truth of it is, I hate California. I haven’t been since I was 18, but I traveled California extensively with a couple from Boston. I think my age, the age difference between the couple and I and just an overall lack of planning made the trip awful back then. I was able to go to Disneyland which was amazing but it was boring going on the rides alone. The beaches weren’t really fun. The cities weren’t that enjoyable. The ocean was beautiful, but it is beautiful in Canada as well. And the trip costs the same as it would to go to England for the same amount of time (anyone who knows me knows my love for England). The only reason I want to go to LA now is because my love is there and he is the most important person in the world to me. Maybe, with his help, I’d begin to enjoy California and see it from a different point of view.

My wish is to go to LA tomorrow morning. I want to be on the West Jet flight leaving Pearson at 9:45 a.m. which means another extremely early morning but it’s worth it.

Imagine, what a celebration of freedom from the justice system that would be!

Please Christopher, miss me enough to say yes. ;)

Kelevra Update

Christopher and I got into a little bit of an argument last night via text messaging over Kelevra. It was horribly sad because I hate fighting with him, especially when he is so far away. Anyway, it ended up that my messages were interpreted as being hurtful, which is awful because that wasn’t what I intended at all. My entire life I have been around animals and I was giving my opinion on what it is sometimes like when traveling with animals for long periods of time.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I mentioned how sometimes the change of environment, eating and drinking different food and water, stress and perhaps a slightly faster paced schedule can all accumulate until the animal becomes sick. Christopher got upset and extremely defensive saying Kelevra was happy there with him. And I agree, Kelevra is probably happy there in Los Angeles with him, why would he not be? He is a dog after all, and wants to please his owner, that doesn’t make the entire trip a little overwhelming for him. So, Christopher took Kelevra to the vet as per West Jet’s orders and afterwards he didn’t call me because he was upset with my text messages so unfortunately I couldn’t sleep the entire night because I was worried sick it was something more than feeding him a new brand of food. Now I am exhausted because I had class at 9:00 a.m.

It upsets me that he didn’t seem to value my opinion. I don’t pretend or act like I am a know-it-all because I am definitely far from it. But seeing how I was raised with animals, have traveled with animals and have had to deal with a sick dog while traveling, I believe I have enough experience to give an opinion. I could be wrong, who knows?

So I explained in an email to Christopher early this morning that sometimes we need to hear things that MAY upset or hurt our feelings, but isn’t that why we love and trust the individuals we befriend and become romantically involved with? In my few years here on Earth, I have learned that it is very easy to lose perspective on the things that affect us the most. And when we do lose that perspective, it helps when our loved ones can offer a clear opinion or view on the topic because everyone views the same circumstances differently, and if we trust and value that person, it is likely we’ll value their opinion, and perhaps take it into consideration. No one is perfect, I could be wrong, he could be wrong, you could be wrong… we’re not experts; hell even experts can be wrong.

I hope my explanation helped clear the air because the last thing I want is Christopher to be upset with me. Knowing my experience and opinion doesn't matter (maybe I am exaggerating but that is how it feels), sort of hurts. But I also stand by my opinion and hope he sees that I was just trying to offer up suggestions on what factors could have played a role in Kelevra’s illness. My main concern is Kelevra’s health but good news is, the vet told Christopher he is healthy, it was just the change in food… but now we’re waiting for the stool analysis results which will hopefully be in on Monday.

Until then, Christopher is stuck in Los Angeles...

Christopher won't be home tonight

I just heard from Christopher, West Jet says they want a vet's note and stool analysis before they will let Kelevra on the plane. So, Christopher is hoping to make the flight tomorrow. He is looking for vet's in LA right now but I highly doubt they'll be able to get the results of a stool analysis back before a few days...

I am very sad. 15 days has now turned into 16... which will most likely turn into more...

Kelevra is sick

Oh no! Kelevra is sick!

Christopher woke up to a washroom full of (not so pleasant) stuff… Yesterday he had mentioned having to switch his dog food to Iams because he ran out of the standard Kirkland dry food that we normally feed him. I guess that is the awful part of traveling with animals; that and the water is different as well which could have a negative impact just like it does sometimes with humans.

Christopher has also been on the go since he arrived in LA so the stress of being in an unfamiliar environment plus the hectic schedule, plenty of car travel and sometimes having to camp out in the car could be starting to take a toll on Kelevra’s system.

The last I heard was Kelevra ended up pooping in the middle of the terminal floor at LAX and the supervisor had wanted to quarantine him. Christopher was speaking with the ticket agents trying to see if he could still board his flight back to Toronto… so now, the flight has departed (I checked online) an hour ago and I still haven’t heard whether or not he got onto the flight. I attempted calling the West Jet call centre to see if I could find out any information but they said they didn’t have a passenger list.

I’m worried about Kelevra. The flight isn’t horribly long (just over four hours) but being kept in a cage, on a flight that is bound to have turbulence, may not be good for him. BUT, I do believe having him home would help him get better quicker. He definitely needs to be home where he can lounge and feel comfortable in his environment.

The hardest part is not knowing if Christopher is even on that flight or not. I am suppose to meet him at Pearson so I believe if I don’t hear from him before the time I need to leave, I am going to head to Pearson anyway. I’m sure I can find out more info in person at the West Jet counter. But it’s rather typical of Christopher to keep me out of the loop; it would have been easy enough to send me a one second text message saying he is boarding or not. I’m just hoping my boys are safe, on the flight and heading home… I just want them home.

My love will be home today!

Today is a happy day!

Christopher is coming home from being away in Los Angeles for 15 days!

I am incredibly excited and happy for his return. Missing him has been unbelievably hard but thankfully while he was there he picked up a cell phone so we could stay in contact. I couldn’t imagine being without him for that long without contact; this was awful enough. But he’ll be home very soon.

When he gets home I am going to hug him and never let go!

Eeeek only 10 hours until I meet him at Pearson Airport!!

I’m going to keep super busy so the time passes quickly.

*grins*

The Weight Has Been Lifted and I Am Free...

I have the bestest, best, best, best news EVER to share with you.

I am officially done court!

All of my charges have been diverted which means no trial, no criminal record, no sentence, no anything… thank goodness since the Crown couldn’t prove mens rea anyway… just the simple fact I have been dealing with this quandary since July is astonishing but then again, it is the justice system.

In the past six months I have been faced with a lot of challenges and obstacles and I have endured what I hope was the worst part of my life, and today I can honestly say, I am amazingly happy because my life is in a really good place. I am surely blessed.

So, it is time to celebrate. No more stress over court and no more wasted time!

What was adorable was the judge saying he hopes I’ll come back for a visit because he was amazed with my ability to turn a horrible situation into something positive. He was also intrigued by my journalism pursuits and wished me all the luck with school and my future.

I can’t say I will be stopping by for a visit anytime soon.

And the last thing I did was turn, pass the box I once stood in terrified and unable to speak, walked down the aisle and out the door… never looking back, and to never look back.

This chapter of my life is now complete...

~~~~~~~

Onto a new chapter...

Hello my name is Sarah and I'm a skydiver...

So I haven’t jumped in what seems like ages, and although I have yet to pass my initial jumps to go onto my fake ripcord pull (TCRP), I am still incredibly excited to jump. The season has been closed at my airfield for the winter and opens again in early March – which is fitting because my birthday is on March 5th! So, I’ve been thinking, I never do anything special for my birthday and this year I would love to do a birthday jump (it’ll be either the weekend before or after my birthday since they are only open on weekends)… what I would love to do more is have my boyfriend come with me… but I haven’t mentioned it to him yet. I know he has skydived before and he said he didn’t really like it, but skydiving is the one activity that I feel so alive doing… I love the extreme adrenaline rush, and floating down hoping you’ll end up in the correct place is amazingly fun. It’s rather cold though. My last jump my hands froze so when it came to landing, I had huge difficulty controlling my parachute during my flare but then again I am a blonde and forgot to wear gloves. But anyway, I want to skydive with Christopher and anyone else who is daring enough to try it (don’t worry I won’t be offended if you’re a chicken shit, just know you are missing out on the experience of a lifetime). One of the jump master’s at the field has a birthday on March 6th and he wants to throw me out of a plane so if you don’t want to jump you can come and watch. I’d appreciate the ground footage.

I don’t think I have ever gotten a birthday gift besides from my parents in my entire life so I’m not expecting that to change hehehe but if you’re so inclined to get me a present (I’d be grateful) a skydive jump costs $80 so any funds help!

I’ll mention this closer to the big day.

He is my strength...

I’ve realized how awful it is to go weeks without someone you love… especially after you’ve gotten so used to them being there all the time. The days have felt like years and although it is only four more days until Christopher is back home, it still feels like an eternity. And the thing is, he doesn’t even see just how much I need him when he isn’t here. I am missing him so much that sometimes it feels hard to breathe. I have his picture as my cell phone’s desk top wallpaper and sometimes I catch myself starring at it, wishing he‘d call or text me because he missed me as much as I miss him. Before he left, he stuck a recent photo taken of him at the university between the cracks of my alarm clock… and every morning I look at it and smile but when I turn over, his side of the bed is still made up… It has been 11 days and it’s felt like forever… I am so glad he is having fun in California but I really want him to come home. I don’t ever want him to leave for this long again… I have much appreciate for the wives, girlfriends, and family of soldiers who do long duties overseas… my god, I couldn’t imagine. I can’t wait to have him and Kelevra back home, when I see them I am going to be extremely happy. Only four more days…

Eyes Open

I’ve realized that in the end, everything changes. life throws so many curve balls and generally we tend to overlook all of life’s pleasant surprises. Life is full of so many beautiful things. We continue on with our lives, taking for granted what we have been given here, whether that is the sun rise, or sun set, or waking up next to the one you love and watching him or her sleep graciously beside you as you inhale their incredible scent. This world is so fast paced but when you find love, and I mean, true love, where there is no doubt in your mind that you would do anything for this person, the world seems to slow down, perhaps at times becoming so slow that everything around you moves in slow motion. I’ve discovered what it is like to love someone unconditionally, that the whole world stops and I am able to see the world for what it really is, and now, I try as best I can to live each day as if it were my last, to appreciate everything and try my hardest not to miss a thing…

The Blinds Adventure

School is definitely underway and keeping me rather busy. My assignments seem to be lacking in any sort of fun or enjoyment, and to be honest, it doesn’t look like this semester is going to chalk up to any fun at all. It’s a lot of work and trust me, the work is boring. The good thing about it is, I am now a photographer for the magazine we’re publishing called MagWorld. And the icing on my cake was when I told Christopher I made photographer and he said, “you take such wonderful photos” all I could do was beam all day long. He makes me feel special… and important. I’m missing him more than I can say.

So today I decided to install blinds on my bedroom window and take down my ugly gold curtains. That was pretty amusing. Who would have thought you would have to drill holes first? Hmm. My job was extremely half-ass but I don’t care because I am hoping to move out in a few months anyway and they cost me $9 at Wal-Mart. It took me two trips to the store because I am blonde and didn’t read the box to see what size they were the first time.

I cancelled my doctors appointment twice now. I am really going to make an effort to see him on Tuesday because I need to see him before I am able to get my driver’s licence back. Plus I have court next week so I mine as well do all the shitty stuff before my love gets back from Los Angeles. I asked him to bring me back some cheap touristy souvenir. I am a sucker for tourist stuff.

If I only knew...

I have been left with an ambiguous silence. Everything has to end sooner or later. I let him slip out of my grasp. In order to enjoy life’s simple pleasures I needed to escape the reality I had set for myself. I got up and walked away from everything once before, and I never looked back… I’ve never been back… but do I do that again? I was brave once; maybe just to keep my imagination alive… I don’t know. I don’t have the answers. If I shut my eyes, even for a second, my whole life flashes before me; but my last moment was watching him walk away, following a red line on the floor with the bustle of movement surrounding us, without thought, without looking back and as quick as ever, he was gone. My heart broke at that moment. If I hadn’t been in a public place I would have fell to the ground with raw emotion. It was the bottomless depth of love I experienced at that exact moment and there was absolutely nothing I could say or do. I stood there for a moment, puzzled at what I was feeling, and then mustered up enough strength to turn and leave. Love is everything; it’s the happiest moments and the saddest…

Worried... almost sick.

I’ve been trying to do a lot of thinking over the past couple of days.

I’ve been up and down constantly in a relatively unstable way. I’ve found out some information about someone I wish I hadn’t. I wish my privacy was respected in some aspects even though I’ve posted a billion private facts here. I’m disappointed in myself for not figuring this out sooner. I guess I was too busy buried in my own selfish pleasure to realize I was being taken for granted.

I’m missing him more than I thought I could ever miss someone. It’s pure agony. And as a clock-watcher, every minute feels like an hour.

Christopher hasn’t called since he left Toronto. I believe I am now past the anger stage and have crossed into the worrisome stage. This isn’t good. He knows my feelings about communication, hence him getting a cell phone (that apparently doesn’t work in the US, great choice that was) that he uses. The lack of even a fucking email is putting me over the edge. I just worry, I cant help it. Christopher is spontaneous, I never know what to expect with him, nor do I know if he is safe or not, therefore I think I am entitled to worry. I definitely understand why his parents got angry with him for lack of communication, because I am definitely upset with this, especially since he knows I think it is disrespectful. Forgetting isn’t an excuse in my books, despite his ADD. How do you forget about the girl you apparently love? Hmm. Go to a payphone and make a one minute phone call. I know he can do it because he did it in the US to call his parents when we stopped at a service centre in PA; the $8 phone call is on my visa bill. Hopefully he will contact me before I make myself sick.

I am debating flying to LA… we’ll see. Yes, I am serious.

Semester 4 is here and Chris is gone to LA

School has started. It has been two days and I am already stressed. I’m glad I am not alone with that feeling as a few of my classmates have said they are already beginning to feel the pressure and stress of the new semester. I just hope it will go by fast, I will be able to keep up with the work and I will do much better than last semester. I’m stressed though. I am debating going to see a school counsellor, but when I did that last year, it didn’t turn out as well as I had hoped. I need to discuss taking another general education class anyway so I may stop in and see someone. Christopher is already helping me cope with the workload. He bought me a beautiful Moleskine agenda (that I am terrified to write in because it is so beautiful I don’t want to ruin it with my messy writing, odd how that is - definitely an OCD trait) and is having me write out all of my due dates, and is helping me schedule my time better so I don’t have to worry about homework on weekends, etc. I’ve already completed my first assignment! It’s weird that I can’t seem to focus on it myself but with Christopher’s help, I strive to do better. Part of me has even debated dropping out altogether; I am still contemplating it, just because of the stress but I love school, I love the structure of school and I really want to finish so I am trying to stay focused.

Christopher left for Los Angele’s today. We had to get up at 6am to make it to Pearson Airport in time for his 9:45am flight. It was difficult because we got under three hours of sleep and had no "us" time before he left. He is on a conference for school so he is going to be pretty busy. I’m worried because I don’t have a contact number for him yet and the thought of not being able to reach him in case of an emergency is terrifying. He is gone for fifteen days. This will be the longest we’ve been apart since we’ve started dating. It is already hard not having him here… but I am glad he is pursuing job prospects in the US and the like. He makes me so proud. I was hoping to go to LA with him for a few days but he didn’t want me to miss class, plus financially it would have been a burden, although I looked into prices of flights today and I could go for under $400 Canadian. Not too bad considering… I may attempt to convince him again ;) it would be nice to have a few days of relaxation, perhaps on a beach somewhere. Christopher won’t be able to make it to my court date, he decided to stay in LA a few days longer to attend a Neil Strauss book signing so he’ll be missing court. Hopefully court goes well.

Christopher bought me a lovely pink Starbucks travel mug that has red and pink hearts all over it and he got me three red roses and three pink roses (for our anniversary). I feel special. I'm a lucky girl. I can't wait until he is back.

Welcome 2008!

My New Years Eve was amazing. I spent the evening with Christopher and had a fabulous conversation about the future in regards to our relationship prior to our midnight plans. It was incredible to see him so focused and determined to nail out the cracks that we’ve been meaning to discuss for some time. And what a perfect night to begin a new foundation to our already amazing relationship!

Unfortunately in the recent past, we’ve come into a bit of a confrontation with the whole family ordeal. I’m concerned as to the reaction received from his parents over us being together, and without going into too much detail, it just seems maybe they are playing a more cautious role in accepting me as his girlfriend. Perhaps it is because they read my blog and instead of getting to know me via direct communication with me, they learned a magnitude of information about me, Christopher (another story all together) and my life, that I have randomly blabbed here on the good ole’ world wide web.

This causes me a great deal of stress, because although I do believe reading my blog is a great way to find out little tid-bits of information, I believe it is important to get to know someone on a more personal level. I feel (and these are my personal feelings, I am not saying this is true in ANY sense, but my feelings are very real) that Christopher’s parents are not being as accepting to our relationship for a number of reasons, perhaps on the top of the list is my illness and my going through the court process (they read this on my blog and probably don’t know much of the truth than what I have provided here – and specific details have been deliberately left out for confidentially reasons). I can definitely understand their opposition towards me after reading that but I feel as if I am being penalized when in fact the whole situation has not been put on the table. I can appreciate their concern, but as for my illness; I am high functioning with minor setbacks. I’m far from perfect but I am in school, doing well, need a little more motivation at times but can see myself with a rather successful career in the upcoming future. And court, maybe one day, if given a chance, I’ll explain that further as well; thankfully nothing awful is coming out of it and I will not have a criminal record (which is good because there was absolutely no intent on my part and I was arrested because the Toronto police did not know how to react to my illness). So, right now, I am confused as to what is happening with his family (my family welcomes Christopher they can see my love for him means that, at least to me, he is already a part of my family and they can’t wait to get to know him more. I’m fortunate because at least we’ll be able to share our holidays with one set of our families). I am hoping everything will work itself out because family is important to me and I can see how important Christopher’s family is to him…

So anyway, we also went out to the Reverb. We didn’t stay long, but we rang in the New Year with champagne, kisses, hugs and dancing.

I had a blast and I hope everyone else did as well.

Happy New Year!!